...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize