You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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