If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
