oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
