Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
