His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
