I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
