How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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