how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
