he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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