I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
