mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yo dont text me then not text me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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