the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
