I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
