Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
