I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The ass gains better be worth it
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