I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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