Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We named our party play list daddy issues
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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