we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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