i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
