Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
