no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont even know how to be here
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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