tonight lets celebrate not being married
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
