): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
