I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
