i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
