sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
