Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
