i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
