what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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