just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
