I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
