Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
we should paint friendship bongs
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize