would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
