I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
