for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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