It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
