Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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