EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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