I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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