As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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