didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
