Christians are straight up FREAKS
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
