try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
