you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
