I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
