Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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