So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
