Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
