so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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