Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You left your phone here
Wait...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
