we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
