I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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