I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This is my gift to your gina
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
