explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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