Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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