FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
