that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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